Do you suspect that one of your friends is reaching fanboy levels of commitment to his favourite car brand? Or, worse still, are you getting the sneaking feeling that you yourself might be a fanboy? Have no fear – with the help of this handy guide, you can find out once and for all if this love is acceptable or irrational. Die-hard brand loyalists prepare yourselves – things are about to get real. Let’s see if you’ve reached fanboy status or if there’s still hope for your redemption.
Porsche fanboys
- You pronounce it Porsha (the e is silent, fanboy)
- You own a Porsche branded hat and wear it on trips around town
- You drink Porsche bottled water and are okay with that
- Your family sedan has a ‘My other car is a Porsche’ bumper sticker
- There’s a framed photo of a ’74 911 RS in your living room which you replaced a family portrait with to hang up
- If you own a Porsche, it’s a Boxster –you just couldn’t wait all that time to save for a real man’s Carrera
Ferrari fanboys
- You would seriously consider buying a £300 Ferrari branded iPad – that’s almost as much as the iPad itself
- You have a Ferrari leather jacket and it’s not your first
- You’ve got a Ferrari Stallion keyring for your Corsa keys, along with matching seat covers and floor mats
- You’ve got 30 pairs of Ferrari socks, making Christmas shopping for you an easy and manageable task
Mercedes fanboys
- You’ve bought a briefcase with a Mercedes badge just so all your work buddies know about your Merc love
- You own a Mercedes watch to match and roll up your sleeves in the middle of winter for display purposes
- You instantly hate anybody who drives a BMW because there is only one acceptable luxury car brand
- You see tiny three-point stars wherever you look
- You have a Mercedes iPhone case which you had shipped from abroad, happily paying the £17 postage because you simply can’t put a price on luxury
Audi fanboys
- You think the Olympics are likely infringing on Audi’s copyrights and trademarks
- You call a semi-automatic transmission a mutitronic gearbox a lá Audi’s stepless transmission
- You expect everybody to understand what multitronic means when they ask about your automatic, brutally correcting them when they fail you
- You have a poster of the R8 above your bed which you kiss goodnight before bed
- You own 2 pairs of Audi sunglasses, one clipped to your shirt and another in the glovebox, should you misplace the originals. These are worn throughout summer and winter, rain or shine
BMW fanboys
- You own BMW cufflinks and tear the buttons off your button sleeve shirts so you have an excuse to break those bad boys out
- You got your child BMW-themed duvet and pillow cases. Your wife insisted she wouldn’t like them but you went right ahead and bought them anyway
- You keep refilling the complimentary BMW barley sugars you get with a service so you’ve got an excuse to talk about your car with someone who understands
- You like to keep the radio off so you can hear the subtle purr of the perfect engine under the your baby’s bonnet
Land Rover fanboys
- You own one of these hats, even though you’re not a farmer or a shepherd
- You hope for bad weather and, when it’s snowing, actually go out for drives so you can wink at the suckers stuck in the snow
- You’ve got Land Rover branded wellies and wear them to the shopping centre, just in case
- You claim that any newly-released 4×4 ‘isn’t a real 4×4’ and defend that claim by asking how many sheep you can fit in the back of the modern equivalent
Hopefully this cleared a few things up. We wish you luck in rehabilitation should you need it – and otherwise, congratulations. The love you have for your car is entirely normal and definitely acceptable in today’s society.
If you’ve got a serious case of brand love but can’t afford the car of your dreams, there might still be hope. With the Car Loan Warehouse, you could finance the ride you want at a rate you can afford – sound alright? Take a look at our car finance calculator to see what sort of rate you’d be looking at and let’s get this show on the road.
