We all want to travel in style – getting from place to place isn’t as straightforward as A to B. It’s about looking good while doing it, are we right or are we right? No doubt, there are a massive array of exciting and bizarre car models out there to assert your mass-produced individuality. But for those of us dissatisfied with these more conventional vehicles, we might want to shake this up a bit and go for something with a little more wow factor.
Be warned, though – just because it’s unique doesn’t mean it’s socially acceptable. Here are precisely seven modes of transportation you might want to avoid for the sake of your social standing.
Camels
We all know camels are cool. They’ve struck that perfect balance between adorable vacancy and fearsome looks, and they’ve got humps too. In areas of the world like India and Saudi Arabia, camels are not only an acceptable mode of transportation but, indeed, a common one. In mainland Britain, however, this just isn’t the case. We suppose you could probably get away with it if you’ve got a camel licence and acres of land for roaming purposes, but for the daily commute or the weekly supermarket mission, this simply will not do.
Humans
There’s a certain point when we have no choice but to discuss logistics. Cars have efficiency and practicality to their credit – while piggybacks, on the other hand, pose few benefits. If you’ve got a lot of time on your hands and consider comfort a secondary concern, this could be the way to go – as long as you don’t mind a little verbal abuse. Consent is also a major issue – piggybacks which are not mutual can result in a very uncomfortable journey and you could end up with a lawsuit on your hands.
Dog Sleds
Just like with the camel thing, there’s a time and a place. The place, on this occasion, would be somewhere in Alaska – the time is pretty flexible. If you’re cruising around the snowy mountain ranges of wherever, this is totally alright. Respectable, even. The confines of our urban environment will not allow for dog sledding, as much as we hate to say it – and domestic canines have been indulged for far too long now to understand their role here.
Vespas
If you’ve got a taste for two-wheelers and little or no integrity, Vespas are great. In all other cases, we’d advise against it. These little beauties look stunning with a woman astride, but men often struggle to drive Vespas and preserve their masculinity at the same time. The problem no doubt lies in how lovely they look in a pastel pink with some pretty wildflowers in the front basket.
Space Hoppers
If we had it our way, these would be the only legally permitted vehicles. Unfortunately, we’re not quite the omnipotent overlords we’d like to be – so as it stands, space hoppers are almost exclusively for transporting children distances of around 5m. We’re as offended as you are that the kids get to have all the fun while we stay very much steady and vertical. Maybe someday, guys – maybe someday.
Unicycles
All those rubber stamp conformists with their four-wheeled vehicles don’t know what they’re missing. Inner ear permitting, unicycling can be a very good time. The hands-free liberation really is something, and boy does it look classy. Regretfully, though, unicyclists will not find social acceptance in 2013, possibly even in our lifetime.
Drive sensibly and have some self-respect.
