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11 Cars So Fit You Don’t Have to Be

January 2, 2014

We all know what they say about men with nice cars compensating for something – but what if you actually, legitimately need to compensate? Have no fear. Carry on reading for 11 beautiful mechanical marvels that will have girls falling at your feet, even if you look like the back end of a wild boar.

 

1973 Porsche 911 Carrera RS

In our opinion one of the sexiest cars of all time, the 911 has had the longest production run of all time, continuous since 1963. That’s 50 whole years looking virtually identical, and people still aren’t bored. But the ’73 Carrera RS is on another level, coming standard with the simple Carrera vinyl down the side and its understated yet aggressive spoiler on the back making it one of the most sought-after by collectors to this day. 

Marussia B1

The B1 is the first Russian sports car ever produced, and it’s gorgeous. This 420hp animal is powered by a 28L V6 and will hit 60 in less than 3.8 seconds – a mean feat for even the most renowned car manufactures, never mind for a first attempt. Maruissa managed, though, by using a lightweight body – and the monster V6 gave it an awesome power to weight ratio. As soon as the ladies see that door open upwards and you step out, it won’t matter what you look like – she’ll be falling all over you in a heartbeat.

Audi R8 GT

The sport version of the R8 – which wasn’t too bad to begin with – is a tweaked and refined version of the road car, resulting in this brutal looking beast. From the sharp outlines on the normally smooth R8’s body to the brutal spoiler on the bag, this car absolutely ebbs manliness. With the help of its huge 5.2L V10 engine, it can reach a top speed of 199 mph (so with the wind behind you, you’ve got a 200mph+ car) – and will go from 0-60mph in 3.6 seconds. Not that you’ll ever want to move that fast – you want to take it slow, strictly restraining yourself to cruising speeds so the girls get a good look at what’s on offer. Investing in a pair of Ray Bans is also advised, because you don’t want her seeing through the window tint into your hollow, soulless eyes.

Mclaren P1

The single engine F1 was the most beautiful thing to ever roll out of the McLaren factory. That is, until its successor, the P1, came onto the scene. The F1 was designed to be unbeatable in looks and speed, and for a long time it was the fastest. Now the P1 has a very high bar to beat, but it’s 727hp twin turbo V8 and secondary electric motor (which produces an additional 176hp) seem to be up to the challenge, enabling it to accelerate to 60 in just under 3 seconds, to a total of 239mph. That’s nearly 3 and a half times the speed limit. And once you get your new bird in the passenger seat, you can put your foot down to glue her into her chair so she won’t have the chance to get a good look at your horribly disfigured face.

Pagani Huayra

Taking its styling from its cousin, the Zonda, and then some, the Huayra – although we don’t quite know how to pronounce it – is one of the most talked about cars of this year. Powered by a 730hp Mercedes Engine, tuned up by Mercedes’ in house tuning team AMG, this allows it to move at speeds of up to 231mph, and hit 60 in just over 3 seconds. With the help of the gorgeous curves of this machine and its feminine little wing mirrors, the girls will be climbing over each other to get a ride – and as soon as the gull-wing doors open into the air, they’ll instantly become weak at the knees. Everybody knows ladies are suckers for a top-opening door. 

Bugatti Veyron Vitesse

Holding the title of world’s fastest road legal car at a whopping 255mph, the Veyron Vitesse and its 8.0L V16 engine are a mechanical miracle. The car even has its own special clutch, designed to cope with the strain of 1200hp being thrown through it. The Vitesse will hit 60 in 2.6 seconds but, sadly, is limited to just 233mph. But at least at that snail’s pace, people might get a chance to see the aggressive styling and the stunning coloured accents throughout the car’s bodywork. 

LaFerrari

Just as when McLaren released the F1, Ferrari had its answer with the Enzo, as they unveiled their P1, LaFerarri was right by their side. And in the same way, the McLaren was the updated version of its predecessor. Although not official an upgrade to the Enzo, just looking at it, you can see its gorgeous shape is exactly that of the Enzo – the front end has gotten a bit sharper and its mouth a bit angrier – but in essence, it’s the same competition all these years later.

The 6.3L V12 in the boot of this bad boy will kick out 789hp – and just as with the P1, it’s got a secondary electric motor producing another 163hp. This combined means that LaFerrari will hit 220mph and climb to 60 in just under 3 seconds. Almost the same as the McLaren P1, but once again coming second best by the tiniest amount – but we all know you need a red Ferarri to pull the posh birds. 

Aston Martin Vanquish Volante

The Vanquish has always been a stunning car – James Bond even had one named the Vanish in Die Another Day, which became invisible at the push of a button. But now we’ve got a sneaky look at the 2014 Vanquish, which Aston Martin describes as the ‘ultimate convertible super GT’ – the first ever convertible by the manufacturer in its 100 year reign as an automotive legend. And they’ve also innovated the soft top on their first attempt by extending the windscreen all the way to the cloth roof – with no sheet metal or, in this case, carbon fibre between the windscreen and roof. The result is this insanely cool sports car that’ll hit 60 in 4.1 seconds and travel up to speeds of 183mph.

Senvo ST1

The ST1 easily makes our list. Looking like a squashed down and stretched out R8 crossed with LaFerarri, this angry looking 1250hp 7.0L V8 animal will give the Bugatti Veyron a run for its money, perfectly matching its world record top speed of 233mph. But here’s the catch. The Zenvo hits this speed with a smaller engine, which produces 50hp more than the Veyron – but will hit 60 in just 2.9 seconds, only 0.3s longer than its world-class competitor. The guys behind the ST1 have not reported any problems, fires or explosions while testing, unlike with Bugatti, which is nice. These boys in the lab running the simulations really got it right. But with only 15 models being produced worldwide, we’re sorry to say that you’ll never feel the pulling power of the Zenvo ST1.

Lamborghini Gallardo

This Italian-built sports car is easily the most beautiful car of our time – with its sharp edges and huge air intakes throughout the bodywork, it’ll make anyone’s jaw hit the floor. A truly magnificent machine, it’s Lambo’s most produced model, with over 10,000 flying around streets all over the world. The original Gallardo’s 5.0L 90 degree V10 4861cc engine was impressive to begin with, but got an upgrade to a 5.2L version when the LP560-4 model was released – producing 552hp, as well as tweaks and tuning upgrades that somehow improve on what was already a perfect machine. The Gallardo is now a world-class contender, capable of squaring up to legends like the R8 GT, with 3mph higher top speed of 202mph, and a matching 0-60 time of 3.6 seconds. And it’s sure to have the girls swooning like you’re a dashing Italian gentleman.

1964 Aston Martin DB5

Although we’ve claimed the 911 RS one of the sexiest cars in history, the DB5 is without doubt the best looking car of all time. Driven by Sean Connery as James Bond in Goldfinger, it has featured in every Bond film since, even if it’s just as a vehicle in the background. Keep your eyes out for it when the next instalment is released.
The actual car from Goldfinger sold for a whopping $4.6 million (£2.8 million), but even a non-Bond car recently sold for a massive £510,000 simply because everyone in the world wants to feel like the tall, dark and handsome ladykiller that is 007. And even if you’ve got a face for radio, the style and sophistication of this beautiful machine is certainly enough to convince any lady to hitch a ride.

If you’ve got a face for radio and you need to get your hands on a car so sexy that you don’t need to be, then look no further – The Car Loan Warehouse’s car finance calculator can tell you in seconds how simple it is to get your hands on the dream machine.

About The Author

Jon Le Roux is co-founder and company director of The Car Loan Warehouse. Being a mad engineering and motorsport enthusiast, I spend more hours than is healthy, watching, reading or talking about cars, boats, motorbikes…..basically anything with an engine.